I've been having a few rough days lately. Lack of sleep is not helping. I am getting woken up about 2 seconds after I fall asleep by alter/s who want to stay up and watch TV. I am that tired that I will fall straight back to sleep only to be woken up straight away. I have found it really hard to take. The night before last I didn't get to sleep until about 5am. I need my beauty sleep, and lack of sleep only makes dealing with the alters that much harder. I slept well last night, but didn't have a great day today. I have had lots of switching today and dissociation. I have had trouble staying in the here and now. I am still not sure what is causing it, I have however found one thing that just about every time helps to make it better. My son Joe. As soon as he got into the car today after school, I heard the alters say "we need to get it together for him" and since then I have been much better. Time and again spending time with Joe will make me feel better. I must admit he is an awesome young man (not that I am biased of course. lol) and everyone in my system likes him. They will opening say how much they love him. Obviously there is an understanding within my system that we have to function well for Joe. I am glad to have this but the weeks that Joe is not here I am a bit stuck.
I am a bit tired of this journey and frustrated by the lack of development we are having. I want to be further along, it seems to take so long to achieve the smallest things. I want to gain an understanding of who is there and what they do. Some form of effective communication would also help. feeling a bit down really. Not a good day with DID.