Welcome to my Blog.

These are my ramblings in an attempt try and understand my Dissociative Identity Disorder. Thank you for reading my blog and I hope that together we can come to a better understanding of the human mind. If you have any questions or comments you are more than welcome to add them to my blog, or to email me. I would love to hear from you.

07 July, 2020

Things my Mother taught me.

Im not good enough
It's always my fault
I make trouble
I exaggerate
She should never have had me
Im slow and lazy
Im fat
Im unloveable 
Im a disappointment
Im weak
Im over sensitive
Im useless
Im not attractive 
How to sew

22 June, 2020

No Hope

Today there has been no hope. No hope for help.  No hope for fighting for what we need. No hope for the support we need to heal.  When things get hard even the best people start to back away,  make excuses, pretend they aren't involved. Today we wonder if there truly is anyone that can help us heal. 
We have said before that hope is the key to survival.  Without hope there is nothing to live for. 
We don't want to die but we can't live our life void of hope either. 
Something will come up, people say, but they are merely empty platitudes to calm their own fear of hopelessness. 
We don't want to die never having left our mark in this world. We would prefer to see justice,  but that seems impossible. We feel to weak for vengeance.  We feel forgotten,  beaten down,  invisible . Please don't let us die this way.  Please may our life have meaning.  Please. 

17 August, 2019

Why do I feel so alone

No one is where I am and no one seems able or willing to help me. I feel lost in a world I do not understand, like an alien on a new planet.  No matter how hard I try to fit in, I'm not like everyone else.  And they know it too. I can't let anyone in to where it really really hurts,  because, ......... because.... it is not safe for anyone to be there, not even us.