Welcome to my Blog.

These are my ramblings in an attempt try and understand my Dissociative Identity Disorder. Thank you for reading my blog and I hope that together we can come to a better understanding of the human mind. If you have any questions or comments you are more than welcome to add them to my blog, or to email me. I would love to hear from you.

20 June, 2012


Today is my birthday. No, I am not telling you how old I am, that would be hard to do anyway. The body is one age but almost on one inside is that age. We generally hover about 10 years younger than the body age.
I find birthdays and interesting time. I don't know if my expectations for the day are too high, but I find most birthdays very disappointing. I am also experiencing that impending doom feeling today. It is my Birthday so something bad is going to happen. I was very careful driving my son to school today as I was sure I was going to have a car crash and didn't want to spend my birthday in hospital. (or damage my car). Apparently the feeling of impending doom is very common amongst trauma survivors. The happier I feel the more likely my life is going to end.
On the subject of the car, I wanted to mention something I don't think I have mentioned on here before. It is very common amongst multiples. I am generally the only one who drives my car. My husband has his own and there is no one else in the house with a license. It is not uncommon to get into the car and find the seat in the wrong place, or the mirrors need adjusting, not because someone else was in my car, but because another alter was driving my car. Yes my body is the same size, and no my legs don't grow and shrink, but depending on who is in control depends on how the body functions in its surrounding environment.
I got into my car yesterday and felt so small, like the seat was miles back and I couldn't reach the steering wheel properly.  I even had trouble knowing how hard to press the brake without making it stop too suddenly. I adjusted the seat and got comfy and off I went. Not too much time later I must have switched back and had to readjust the seat and mirrors again. Instead of feeling small I felt back to my normal size and needed it all back the way it was.
It is quite common amongst multiples who drive to have to adjust the mirrors regularly depending on who is driving.
Just another fun fact about multiplicity.
Anyway, I am off to get ready to go out to lunch with some of my family. I will let you know how my day turns out. If I live through it. ha ha ha

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