Today I would usually be at work. I decided to keep today reasonably busy so that I don't feel too lost not working. With 3 boys in the house there is always something to get done but I do not want to spend all this time cleaning up after them and just pottering around the house getting little jobs done. I have decided to attend an Art group at MIFSA (Mental Illness Fellowship of South Australia). As you may know by now I am trying to increase my skills in drawing and painting, and hopefully be able to use these to aide my healing and express myself. It has been a while since my last painting and I am keen tt learn more.
I have not been sleeping well for a couple of nights now and last night was unsettling. I kept waking up every few hours with scary images in my head and feeling like I had been seeing flashbacks. I can not remember any of them now I am awake but I am keenly aware that someone inside is not feeling safe.
I have reverted to using my 'U' pillow as it snuggles around my body and makes me feel more secure. I have also found the need to cuddle my big soft bunny at night. This is what I usually need when I am dealing with some of the trauma in therapy. Strangely enough I had not felt the need for either the pillow or bunny for quite some time.
I am hoping to get some time today to be able to sit down quietly and see if anyone on the inside has anything they wish to communicate about how they are feeling and what triggered all these feelings.