I have had an interesting day today. An old friend who had visited a week or so ago, came back for another visit. The first visit was very stressful and left us shaken for a couple of days. This old friend, lets call him 'R' has known me for nearly 10years, but I have not seen him for at least 4years. He is a very lovely and caring man with a great heart. When he came around a week or so ago it became evident that it was not me he was used to hanging out with. He had obviously spent most of his time hanging out with another one of us from inside. I personally have very few memories of our times together, yet he regaled me with several occasions when we were together and or on the phone together. None of these were familiar and the behaviour he said I exhibited was very much not mine, and definitely belonged to some one else in our system. Needless to say I found his first visit in such a long time to be quite traumatic. He is very tall and a big man, when he enters a room you know it. His size alone can be intimidating. He is a gentle giant and loves to give hugs. I am of course not the one who likes all that hugging and found it to be way too much. It left us all shaken for days. He had said he would pop around another day and I was not looking forward to it.
When he called today to pop in I knew what I was going to do. I welcomed him in, (no hug) made him a coffee and we sat in the lounge. I started to talk to him about my Disorder. I explained that the person he had been friends with most of the time was not me and that it was a totally different part of me. I, personally, am not that keen on all the hugging, touching and conversation matter he had discussed recently. Fortunately R has worked as a carer for people with Disabilities and for some one with DID. He also knew some other people before that with DID so he is quite up to date on the disorder. I was so pleased. Not only did he understand my disorder but he also went on to tell me that he had suspected it for several years now. He remembers how different I was all those years ago and how one day I could be totally different from another.One day I might be more prudish and then the next totally the opposite. How I would forget things we had done or said, only 3 days previously. It had sparked his curiosity. He is very supportive and I appreciate having someone who not only gets it, but can also remember me in the past. ( I cant! lol)
It is always a struggle to find people who understand this disorder, and who dont expect us to be an axe yeilding murderer. It is always a blessing to get understanding from someone, who can accept all your changes and memory issues.