Welcome to my Blog.

These are my ramblings in an attempt try and understand my Dissociative Identity Disorder. Thank you for reading my blog and I hope that together we can come to a better understanding of the human mind. If you have any questions or comments you are more than welcome to add them to my blog, or to email me. I would love to hear from you.

29 March, 2012

Hi everyone, I know I haven't been posting regularly, things have been a
bit hectic at home. One of our boys has got himself into a bit of trouble. He is at his dads at the moment so it is giving me some time to relax a bit.
Hubby and I are in Queensland, Australia, at the moment for a business conference. He is going to the conference and I am enjoying having the time to hang out by the pool and relax without any house work or boy stress. So far it is day one and I like it.
 This is the view from our balcony. Not bad hey!
I have noticed I have not been coping well with all the stress at home. I have been living with constant headaches, some to the point where I have started to lose sight in one of my eyes. This has not helped with my alters either. I have had to spend so much time dealing with my external world, I have not been able to deal with or listen to what is happening on the inside. This has lead to some very unhappy Alters. They have started to get quite angry and talk to me in ways I have not heard for over a year. It is very frustrating both worlds need me and both are important but generally the external one will win when it comes to my boys. Especially at the moment. I am hoping some time away from the situation will help me to get closer to everyone one the inside.
We left home early this morning to catch our plane. Because of all the disruption inside, I only had 2 1/2 hours sleep, so it has been a long day. I have hope been working very hard lately one getting my sleeping routine strong and because of that I have, up until last night, been sleeping very well. With big change comes internal confusion and struggle. Last night there were several Alters who did not want to go away today, others who wanted to just stay awake until we left, out of pure excitement. Once we arrived, there was a bit of switching and changing but things seem to have settled down a bit now.
Going somewhere we have never been before is always a challenge and can be quite scary. This will often cause the Alters to switch around a bit until we find who is comfortable or can cope best with the new situation. It can take a bit of time to adjust and get settled in a new environment. So far so good. I depend very heavily on my husband as someone stable and familiar, it is very comforting to know he is with me.
I am looking forward to a good sleep tonight and hopefully a chance to kick back and relax over the next few days. I hope to keep you all posted, and hopefully everyone inside will enjoy the break too.

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