The last week has been a bit of a hard one. I spent several days last week in bed, not anything to do with a physical illness. Just Alters trying to communicate how they were feeling. And it wasnt good. I had severe nausia, I was lightheaded, and often my head would spin. How do I know it was Alter related and not physical? Because as it started to wain I could hear certain alters talking and when they spoke the symptoms would come rushing back. Nausia is a common one for me, I think it is because of what we had to do duing the abuse. It was not a nice feeling and it always takes a while to try and figure out if these feelings are an illness or alter related.
We have been working very hard with our shrink and he is getting very close to us. We have NEVER had anyone know so much about us and how we work. That, and an incident that felt very threatening on Friday, left us feeling exposed and vulnerable. It has taken a lot of 'work' to get us back to a place where we can feel safe again.
My shrink has been very understanding, and has made it very clear that if he is scaring my Alters, he will back off until they feel safe. He doesnt want to cause any added trauma. So far I am very impressed with his approach. He is used to dealing with multiples and this seems to make a lot of difference. He seems to know when to back off. He also has real life reference points to work from.
As usual life as a multiple is never easy, but it is never boring either. Maybe I could use some boring!!