My fathers operation went well and apparently he is recovering well. The test results will take a bit to get back so as yet we do not know if he needs Chemotherapy.
It has been an interesting few days for us as we have considered the possibility of his death. It would be the loss of hope. There is still within us the very faint hope that one day he will realize what he has done and what he is doing, and things will be OK. When he dies that hope is gone, and we face the fact that ANOTHER person wasn't there for us, and could never love us the way we needed.
What bugs me most is that when I was a very little girl, I was a Daddy's girl, he was my favourite. He had the most potential to save me from what I endured..except for one thing, he couldn't get his head out of his own life to see the mess around me. His desperation to succeed in business was greater than his desire to be there for me. Things haven't changed. But deep down the hope still lives. For now.