In Australia, our government is looking into Child sexual abuse in institutions. They are calling it a Royal Commission. They are asking for any one who went through child sexual abuse in an institution such as a school, sporting group, church etc to contact them and share their story. It is an attempt to affect a change in regards to child abuse in this country, and hopefully get some form of justice for the victims.
We have known about it for some time now and have already made one attempt to contact them. But we switched and got on with life. Two days ago we rang them and left our details, and some basic information about what happened, with them. They will apparently get back to us in a couple of months to hear our full story.
We have many people who abused us. Most of whom will never come to justice. But there are a few who we knew more closely and even some who we knew through organisations like school. We cannot get everyone to pay for their crime but we can get as many as possible.
The Principle of your primary school is one of those men. We know he is still alive and it is not right that he gets to walk free for what he has done.
The act of ringing the commission has left us with many mixed feelings.
Disappointed, and disheartened. There are so many who hurt us and this is only ONE of our stories, and this will rise to the surface. What he did was wrong, but compared to so much else that has happened, it is relatively minor.
Shame, anger, and helplessness. When faced with someone to tell these truths to, it is amazingly hard to get it out. We cry (something we try not to do), we don't know how much they can tolerate and really want to know. And with every word we step deeper into the pain and reality of it. It hurts so much just to remember. How could someone do this to me, how could they violate a child to the point of breaking their soul. There are no words only streams and streams of tears and a pain inside that we just don't know how to heal.
Will we be believed, are memories are only small and we are not sure they will seem that much. What if they think we are lying, how will we deal with that. It is a long road to walk and it feels like once again we walk it alone.
Injustice. What if through all we go through, nothing is done or achieved. Will we ever get justice? Is there truly anyone who can help us, or are we truly on our own once more.
Safety, will we be safe sharing this information, They say they have protocols in place to protect us, but do we trust them.
And lastly, and the reason we are even doing this in the first place:
The is a hope that maybe, just maybe he will be brought to justice. Especially if others who he hurt will come forward. And maybe somehow we can help to prevent this from happening to others in the future.