Its been 5 weeks now and I have had only 2 nights of good sleep. My insomnia is kicking in big time. Last night I didn't get to sleep until about 5am. I slept for 4 hours and I am awake again. I am getting a little frustrated and cranky. I need a solid 8 hours to function well.
I do suffer from restless leg syndrome, which doesn't help, and it can take me a few nights of not being able to get to sleep before I realize what the problem is. But even when that is under control, I still cant get to sleep. Many times it is a teenage alter who wants to stay up late and have some TV time. Sometimes it is a younger alter who doesn't feel safe in bed with my husband, (not his fault, just flashbacks and body memories) and sometimes I have absolutely no idea at all. I will doze off to sleep only to be woken a few seconds later by an alter who says, "I don't want to sleep now". I am so tired I doze off again only to be woken a few seconds later to the same comment. Once again the saying 'Life as a committee' has meaning. We all have to work together to decide on what we do. Not that easy when we are not all acquainted yet.
It is a great book filled with fantastic information on DID. I highly recommend reading it if you haven't already. In the book they talk about getting to know your alters, mapping and timelines. Writing a timeline of your life of all the things you can remember and the events of your life. Mapping is getting each alter to write about them selves, on a piece of paper and then putting them together so as to get a better picture of who is there and what they do, like or want. I have done some basic mapping and timeline but I did not get each alter to write their own stuff. That is my plan from here. Hopefully it will help me to understand their needs and for us to work together to get some sleep. Now I think it is time for a nap!
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