Post Op.

Hi everyone, it has been 2 1/2 weeks since my operation and I am doing really well. I haven't posted before now as I have been trying to let my DID fade into the background as much as possible so that I didn't trigger too much, and I could focus on getting physically well without having to deal with too much switching.
The surgery was physically very successful and by all accounts I am healing very well. I am back to doing most of the things I would normally do, just avoiding stretching and heavy lifting.

Mentally the whole surgery was hard work. I was very open with the medical staff about my DID and it seems to have been the right thing for me to do. I wanted to keep my teddy with me for as long as possible going into to operation and then to have it with me in recovery. I asked the surgeon if this was possible and why, she was very understanding. When the anesthetist came to talk to me before the op, I again explained my situation and that I was very scared, and he was great. He spoke to me very kindly and even engaged me in conversation about my bear and how often I needed him. I don't remember being in recovery, so I didn't have to worry about that. I just remember waking up in my room.
I had a private room which are apparently kept for patients with higher needs. Physically I didn't have higher needs but I wonder if my DID helped me to get the room. It was much easier having the room to myself. It gave me a chance to have time alone and as I didn't sleep well at night, I could watch TV and talk to my alters without disturbing other patients. All in all a positive experience.

I did meet 3 new alters in the hospital and learned quite a bit more about myself and some of the trauma I have been through. I was born with a cleft lip, so had operations to fix it at 6mths, 18mths and 3years old. I am now aware that there was a level of trauma associated with these procedures. It explains why I have such a fear of surgery and recovery. I have a very young alter "Baby", who is very very scared of the whole process. Now that I know she is afraid because of that previous operations, I am hoping to be able to work with her to feel more comfortable.
It is always an educational adventure having DID. Learning what has happened, how it has affected me, and how the human brain will work to protect me from the trauma. I have felt rather positive lately about it all. Probably because I haven't delved too deeply into therapy and have had time to recover and relax.
I have been in the process of applying for a Disability Support pension over the last few months. Most of the people who know me would say I am functioning pretty well, and generally I guess I do. What I have noticed since I stopped working is that I am really coping, not just looking like I am coping. My Alters are much more settled and I don't hear the constant reminders that "I am not listening to them". I think it is because I now have time to stop and listen to what they are saying and the flexibility to change my plans if I need to accommodate their needs.
I was reminded the other day how hard I used to find it going to work. I had to be up and moving to get my son to school and sort out some stuff for him. One of my alters was trying to talk to me while I was lying in bed. My son came in to tell me it was time to get up and moving, without thinking I jumped out of bed and into the shower. Unfortunately my alter wanted more time. It was hours later that I managed to take the time they wanted. In the interim I had very nasty anxiety and voices. I remember going to work many times, having that same feeling and not knowing why or how to deal with it.
The day I got out of hospital I found out I had been accepted to get Disability support pension. It is a great relief. The money itself is not a lot but there are a few discounts that will help us out immensely. I can now relax and get on with healing. It is a big help.
Well, I have chatted on quite a bit today. Don't want my posts to get too long. Please leave a comment from time to time. It is great to hear what you think of what I have posted, or if you have a question you wish to ask me. I really appreciate that so many people from all over the world regularly read my blog. Thank you.