What causes DID?

I thought I would do a quick run down on the causes of Dissociative Identity Disorder (formally known as Multiple personality disorder). I know I mentioned this more in my earlier posts but might be time for some revision.
DID is caused by trauma. This trauma usually occurs before the age of about 8years old. In many cases this trauma is abuse, physical, sexual or emotional. Even neglect. Trauma can also be things like hospitalisation, accidents, and war. This trauma in most cases goes on for years. I have not yet seen a case of DID caused by one isolated incident of trauma. What I have also seen with DID is that the child has no safe place to land. By this I  mean that the child has no one safe they can turn to help them. There is no safe parent, grandparent or friend, who even though they may not believe them about it, they are there for them in a loving and protective way. Often the older sibling will be the one to develop DID, as the younger children have the older ones to go to. ( this is not always the case as I do know of younger siblings with DID, but it seems to follow that rough pattern).
DID is NOT and illness, there is NOTHING wrong with the functioning of our brain. We do not need medication the fix us. DID is a coping technique. DID is a healthy minds response to overwhelming trauma. In fact if we did not have a normal healthy brain we would not have developed DID. We are not sick, or crazy. We are traumatised! Severely traumatised, to the point where we cant function without having multiple parts in our brain. There is no magic pill to make us better, no perfect therapy that will make us suddenly "well". For those of us with forgotten abuse and abusers, we cannot and should not be made to remember. Our amnesia is there to protect us, from a past we are not yet ready to remember. It WILL take us YEARS to heal, with or without a therapist. Healing for us may not look like what you think it does.
Most of us started our lives by learning about the dark side of the human existence . We know about rape, beatings, abuse. We have been taught that we have no value except to be used by someone else for their release. We didn't learn that what we want and need has value. We become unimportant.
 We have to learn to be loved and to love. We need to learn that we can have a opinion and we have the right to say no! What we want DOES matter, and we can and should be listened too. I am 44 and many of these things are still major revelations to me. I am still amazed that I don't have to do things if I don't want to. I CAN CHOOSE AND DIRECT MY LIFE. It is my life, not someone elses and I can have control. WOW!
What we need is people who will listen and care. People who can be patient with us and let us learn our lessons in our time. We need to be loved and accepted, no matter how many of us there are. And we need to be believed. Because even if what we say is not how you saw it, it is our truth and it has made us who we are. It is important. We are important.

Believe me!

The last few weeks have been quite an education for me. I have learnt how my alters are talking to me in their own way but that I am not really listening or getting what they are saying.
My hubby, son and I have just got back from a week staying at my Aunt and Uncle's holiday house. We had a very relaxing time and my husband even managed to catch a few fish. During our stay my Aunt, Uncle and cousin came for a visit and stayed for dinner. While my uncle and hubby were out fishing in the boat, Auntie, cousin and I had time for a good long chat. For a very small part of the conversation we skirted around the subject of my childhood and how it had not been how she thinks it was.
Her obvious disbelief was quite shocking. I spend most of my time with other multiples. We don't even think to questions one an others stories, we know the world is not as rosy as people would like to believe it is. We know that people wear two faces, some of our worst abusers are the nicest people you would ever meet. The world is full of darkness, we see it every day, but I realise that for people who don't live in this world of darkness, it is easy to lose sight of the truth.
Her disbelief was shocking and rocked us inside more than I had realised. It took us to that place where we no one believes us, we are in this torture and no on will believe the truth. No on will rescue me as they don't believe there is anything to be rescued from. Right back to being a child. Later that day I did spend some time quietly thinking and sharing with my inside world, we did 'talk' about what had happened but as it had been out of my ability to change I pushed it aside. I am realising now that was not a good idea. For several days after that they were all very restless inside and I heard complaints and berating. By the day I saw my shrink I was starting to get really down and frustrated. I had by this time totally forgotten about what they were complaining about and I was feeling very abused by everyone on the inside.
Whilst talking to my shrink I realised that my aunts disbelief had had a profound affect on us, and that I had not acknowledged it and taken steps to help us heal from those feelings of abandonment and not being believed. The instant I got it out, all the arguing and berating stopped and I felt peaceful. That is all they wanted, was to be heard!
Know I am trying to remember that these hurts ARE important and to not just let them pass or minimise them. Let them out, journal about them, discuss them with a friend, or shrink, blog, anything that acknowledges that we are here and we are hurting. The time for keeping secrets is over, the truth needs to be told.
Having someone believe your truth is a very liberating thing. I remember the first time my psychologist believed me about one of my abusers. The physical release was tangible, like a major weight was taken off my shoulders that I didn't even realise I was carrying. I didn't carry this secret alone any more. I know we don't all want to know about the evil in the world, we see so much of it on the evening news. It can become overwhelming, but for some of us this is our reality. If I have DID I have known darkness, I didn't get this way because I fell and hit my knee and I am a sook. Please understand that MY world is not yours and if you really want to get to know me you may have to learn more about the dark side of this life than fits inside your rosy view. It is the price we pay for having evil in this world, and we always will until it ends.

New year

Hi everyone and welcome to 2013. I had an awesome new year spent with some of my great friends from Bridges.
I feel that so often on here I am complaining about life and how I am coping. That is not my intent but I am finding it is how I am regularly feeling lately. Communication between my alters seems to have stagnated and it seems each day is filled with complaints and corrections. I am finding I do not know who is talking or really what is going on. It is a bit like driving with a car full of complaining children every day. I have also noticed some of my little ones who feel unloved have been out a bit lately looking for reassurance. Self harming has become an issue and I had a binge session last night like I have not had in quite a while. Externally all seems well and no one would know. but every day is a challenge and I am not always sure I am winning.
We had a great time today with some family members who came to visit.I enjoy the company but I find it hard as people don't want to know about how I really am, and it can leave us feeling like they are  not getting the real answer. The truth is I am mourning a life lost, who I could have been and fighting the desire to sit you all down and tell  it how it really is.
No one wants to hear about child abuse and how we struggle with our abusers and what they did. No one wants to see the consequences over afternoon tea, but for me they are always there, they never leave me, and I want to stop the secrecy that has held me bound for so long. Who will listen.