Sleeeeeep, please sleep!

Well I am up and functioning on only 3 hours sleep. Don't know how, as I feel very alert, but some how I am dong it. I went to bed around 11.30pm last night feeling a little tired and quite relaxed. My mind wasn't racing  and I wasn't in pain. After about an hour I decided to try my calming ocean sounds to get me to sleep. After half an hour of that doing nothing, I headed for the book I am about 3/4 through. It was boring me to tears but still no sleep. Grrr this is getting very frustrating. I am using my usual natural sleeping tablets which usually knock me out. I have also been using some herbal oil rub that smells disgusting but is great for relaxation and sleep. Still nothing. I just lie there calm, relatively happy, and awake. I hope this all breaks soon.

On the up side I am off to see my shrink today. It has been quite a week since I last saw him and I am looking forward to the chance to chat. Not that long ago I was wondering why I was even going as we really weren't doing too much, but now I know why...it is all happening at once. As is usually the way. None of the alters are brave enough to come out for him yet. Some still find him to be a big scary man. Mostly we as a group are worried that the ones that do come out will break the image we have set up of being one whole person. If some of the other alters come out it will be obvious they are not and he will instantly see the difference. Its kind of the point but still very scary.