Welcome to my Blog.

These are my ramblings in an attempt try and understand my Dissociative Identity Disorder. Thank you for reading my blog and I hope that together we can come to a better understanding of the human mind. If you have any questions or comments you are more than welcome to add them to my blog, or to email me. I would love to hear from you.

12 September, 2011

Dinner

I have just finished dinner with my wonderful 18 year old son. He has lived with his father since the beginning of the year so I don't get to see much of him but every now and then we catch up for dinner. Tonight we went to a nice little restaurant/cafe.
I found the beginning of the dinner difficult...you see I am not sure who was forward at the time but whoever it was they were not very familiar with my son and I spent the first half hour feeling like I was having dinner with a stranger..I felt like a stranger myself. Even his face seemed strange to me.
I expect a little bit of the strangeness given it has been a couple of months since we have had dinner together, but we often chat on line or on the phone. This was more than this..it is the strangest feeling. I have known him all his life and feel like I know him very well. We have been very close. By the end of the dinner we were back to us and I knew him again. Obviously whoever was forward at the beginning was not that used to seeing him and not that comfortable around him. Strange feeling when your won son seems a stranger.
On a side note, my son who we shall call 'R' for now, is an amazing young man. Like most parents I worry about how I did raising him, especially as I had undiagnosed DID throughout his childhood. I know I was not a perfect parent. R also has some mild disabilities himself and has spent many years attending Physios, occupational therapist, and doctors. When his father and I divorced many years ago it was very hard on him.
Even with all this, what I see now is a young man who is confident, motivated, and fun loving. He knows how to have a good time, like most boys his age, but he is also applying himself at school and doing very very well. 10years ago I think I could only have hoped for this. Now I see a wonderful intelligent young man who I didn't totally stuff up. I am very very proud to be his mum, R and his brother are still and will always be my greatest achievements.
With all life's trials tears and hardships, I am a very blessed woman.
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