The weight of your disapproval

Why is it that I suffer under the weight of your disapproval?
Why is it that nothing I do seems enough?
Why is it that I never seem to know that you love me,
and why is it that you cannot see my tears?

Why is it that you never know my heartache?
Why is it that you never see my fear?
Why is it that you never know my heartbreak
and why is it that you cannot feel my tears?

Why is it that you never hold my hand close?
Why is it that you never call my name?
Why is it that you do not know my heartbeat,
and why is it that you cannot hear my tears?

Why is it that I still want your approval?
Why is it that I still want you to care?
Why is it that your rejection still can hurt me
and why is it that i wish you'd calm my tears?


Why is it that you never seem to love me?
Why is it that you never seem to care?
Why is it that i never hear your heart beat
 and why is it that you hide behind your fears?

Why is it that you cannot face my future?
Why is it that you cannot see my past?
Why is it that I have no hope with in me,
and why is it that my dreams are fading fast?

Why is it that you chose to even have me?
Why is it that you even said hello?
Why is it that you dare to say you love me,
and why is it that you somehow never go?

Why is it that I cannot live without you?
why is it that I cannot stand alone?
why is it that I long for your affection,
and why is it that you never stay too long?

Why is it that I can never get a word in?
why is it that you are always right?
why is it that I never have the answers,
why is it that you never hear me speak.

When will it be that I can know your loving?
When will it be when I can know you care?
When will it be that you can hear my heartbeat,
and when will it be when my heart can live complete?

When will it be when I can know your approval?
When will it be when you say,' you are my pride'?
When will it be when you look at me with honour,
and when will it be  when I know that you are mine.

When will it be that I am with you?
When will it be that I am free?
When will it be when choice is mine for taking,
and when will it be, when i am free.

In this world there is one thing we all need and want,  Love. True, unconditional love. In this world it is one of the hardest things to come by.
Deep down every one, and yes I do mean everyone, wants to know they are important to those in their lives. They want to know they count, that they have a place in someone's heart.
More than anything, no matter what they do or what they say, that place that love will never change. Living your life with someones disapproval is a heavy weight to have to carry. A burden that in time damages and disables. I'm never going to be good enough, I am always at fault. I can never be that perfect.
It breads death, and kills hope.