Mr 19's learning curve

It has been interesting to see how Mr 19 has been dealing with my DID. He moved out of home to live with his father,  at the exact time I was diagnosed. This is his first time living with a known multiple and he is having trouble getting his head around the condition. He will frequently say...Why cant you just....? Like, Why cant you just accept you are in an adult body and be adult? Why cant you just make yourself focus on work and just go back to work?
It has taken quite a bit of patience and understanding to work through these thoughts and comments of his. He had no idea of the severity of the trauma we have been through, and he was pretty much guessing we were just making most if it up or over acting. I have given him some brief  information about what we went through, in the hope he will start to see the seriousness of the situation. He doesn't realise that much of what he says is actually quite hurtful. He thinks that we should just take control of the obviously disruptive rabble inside and get on with life. I have had to explain that I am not the boss inside and that I am not the one to order the others around. We work as a team. If he has to do a group task at work with 20 other people, he cannot just order them to do as he wants. They must work together to get the job done. Just about every decision we make in our lives is done as a group. And if you make the 'wrong' decision there are plenty more inside who will let you know about it and possibly decide to kick you out of any further decision making.
I am hoping he will, in time, gain a  more educated understanding of DID and its workings. But it is going to take time.

Life feels good

Its been over a month now since we separated from our ex hubby. I was planning for and expecting to have had a total melt down by now. I thought once I got settled in my new house, I would let the emotions go and the flood gates would open. But it hasn't happened. Its like it is already miles away. I don't know if this is because I did so much crying and mourning before I left. Or maybe because leaving has only confirmed so very strongly that I have done the right thing. Either way I don't miss that life any more. I am happy and enjoying my new life, and what has turned out to be a very busy time in my life. The end of my first marriage was so different to this. It did end under very different circumstances, but it took my years to come to grips with and get over. I think because I was the one who was leaving this time, it gave me time to process ahead of time. I could sort through how I felt before I left. Don't get me wrong, the end of a marriage is always a sad and difficult thing. But in the end if you are happier and safer out of it, then it is worth the leap.
My sons have settled in well with me, maybe a little too well. Mr 19, is getting a bit lazy and is more than happy to use my taxi services but not help me with odd bits around the house. I have always had to keep a firm hand with him and it seems that has never changed. Mr14 seems fine and life goes on.
I feel like my life truly has a new beginning, and with the wonderful support and friendship I have gained over the last 2 years, I feel supported and never really alone. I can't ask for much more than that. Life feels good.

Nature VS Nurture 2 (mild sexual content)

I have been thinking further on this topic, and someone inside has shown me something that seems quite simple and obvious but, has been a  major revelation to me/us. All of my sexual abuse was done by men, over many years and to varying degrees. When we have sex with men now it triggers the old trauma. This is because of many things. We know the power a man has and that they can be very hard to resist if they are insistent. Their touch is also the same and the movements  through out the sexual act are also a repeat of what was done before. (i.e. thrusting) These actions in most cases are an exact copy of the abuse, and therefore take us straight back to where we were as a child, whether we want to be there or not. Even the nicest gentlest man will still carry out many of the actions the abusers did. This is triggering on one way or another, even if it only registers inside on a deeper level. This  makes all sex with a man hold a traumatic component. Not a good loving scenario really. The body has memories of its own and it doesn't take much to trigger them.
The theory is that sex with a woman is a different activity. Different actions are used and it affects the body in different ways. If sex with a man instantly has an anger base in my body, then it is safe to assume that with a woman it is not there? So far from what my lesbian alter H has been showing me, this is the case. For us heterosexual sex contains an level of anger and I dare say fear before we even get into the experience. H has shown me that that without that fear and anger the sexual experience is very different. Maybe it is time for some scientific experimenting to test this theory. lol
It all seems so obvious in some ways but still a major revelation. Stay tuned as we continue on our road to discovery of DID and me.