Stronger

Its funny you know, I had naively thought that as I take the time off work this year to help me process what has and is happening to me, and that I would be able to really dedicate time to me. Don't get me wrong, I have had a lot more time for me and my self care. But life doesn't stop for you to get better. We have 5 boys, only 3 of them live with us. They are teenagers, and as you may be aware it is not an easy time, for them or us. We have had a hard year with one of the boys in particular and I was just starting to feel like the trouble had passed and we were on our way....silly me. I will not go into details but it seems I must put my work on the back burner.
I guess this is the ultimate advantage to DID is that by the very nature of the disorder we are strong and able to cope with a lot. But I am also tired. Tired of the fight. Tired of dealing with the nasty side of life. Tired of fighting every day. Its not easy living with DID. One wrong move and I can end up in an anxiety attack and voices in my head telling me how useless I am. Sleep is a constant struggle to get, and I feel like I am a drain on my family and friends.
I know I will get through this, and I will fight to the death for my son.
But I just wish I didn't have to. I just wish that for the smallest while it would be easy. Just for now.

DID isn't all bad!

I found this on the internet at this site:
http://shadowlight8.wordpress.com/2010/01/20/
 I thought it is good for a laugh.

Also a joke from the same site:

How many alters does it take to change a light bulb?

January 20, 2010 — shadowlight and co As many as will: one to change the bulb, one to change it back, three to argue over whether they want it light or dark, one to throw the light bulb against the wall to hear it crash, one to clean up the mess, four to go shopping for new bulbs and come home with stockings, licorice, Disney movies, popcorn and masking tape, one who insists it “IS” the light bulb and doesn’t understand why everyone always wants it to change and can’t it just be itself????

Chickens

 As if life doesn't hold enough for me to do at the moment, we now have 2 Chickens. We have been talking about getting them for a while and the other day we just did it. At first I thought they were ugly looking things and really wasn't that interested in them, but as time had gone on I am liking them more and more. It is actually fun to sit and watch them scratch around the back yard looking for what ever it is they like to find. They even have a different cluck for when they find something exciting in the ground. It is so cute. The challenge is getting our dog to adjust to having these strange creatures in her back yard.

The chickens were named by 2 of our sons. This one is called Dahvie, after one of the members from the group Blood on the Dance floor.

This Chicken is called Wolfy, after, well, a wolf! Troy is obsessed with wolves at the moment, so now we have a wolf chicken.

I am sure if you look very carefully you can see the similarities............................maybe close your eyes, that might help.
Maybe not!!

This is my Dog "Babe". she is not the smartest dog in the park but she is very very loving. At the moment she is obsessed with the chickens and cant wait to see what they are doing in the morning. The other morning she woke me up, scratching at my bedroom door. I thought she wanted to go out to the toilet (yes she is spoiled enough to sleep inside the house) so I let her out. It turns out she just wanted to see what to chickens were doing....as you can imagine I was so very excited to get woken up to watch the chickens!!


All in all it is fun and I am glad we have them now. Cluck Cluck!