It's in the background. It's in the words you don't hear, the whispers. No matter how hard you try, there is that voice that reminds you. ...you are worthless!
You work so hard to belive a new truth. To try to accept you may have value, and then just when you think you may be getting there, that voice reminds you, ' you are fooling yourself, you will never have value'. Without a second thought you accept the words they say. After all if they were wrong, your life would be better. People would like you. You would have more friends.
It doesn't leave, it nags at you. Finding you at your weakest. Hitting you when you are down. It is merciless, unrelenting, and once again you wonder why you are even here.
One little voice. One little whisper, with so much power.
16 January, 2016
12 January, 2016
Ten things I have learned about Child Sexual Abuse
http://www.pods-online.org.uk/index.php/information/articles/article-categories/childsexualabuse-menu/96-ten-things-i-have-learned-about-child-sexual-abuse
The above link will take you to the PODS website. PODS stands for Positive outcomes for Dissociative survivors. The have some great information and even have a newsletter with great articles written buy survivors. Well worth a look. This article caught my eye as a good one to share. I hope it is of help to you.
The above link will take you to the PODS website. PODS stands for Positive outcomes for Dissociative survivors. The have some great information and even have a newsletter with great articles written buy survivors. Well worth a look. This article caught my eye as a good one to share. I hope it is of help to you.
21 December, 2015
Another Night Trying Not To Sleep.
It's been going on for over a month now. It's past midnight and we are still wide awake. Somewhere inside we are tired but I can't feel it. We busy ourselves, stalling, because we just don't want to sleep. We spent a week only able to sleep on the couch watching tv. But that takes its toll on our neck and back.
We figured out how to make or bed feel like a couch by sleeping on it sideways with or back against the headboard. It's better than the couch but still not perfect. It's the only way to get there. Lay on the bed normally, panic sets in. We have tried alcohol but it does little to calm us.
We now manage by taking sleeping tablets and anti anxiety medication every night if we want to sleep. It is the only way. I don't remember how to fall asleep without them. I'm getting concerned. I don't want to become addicted but we have to sleep. I hope all this will settle down once we get past Christmas. Only 5 more nights of torture to go. We used to love sleep, it was our way to escape, now we try to escape from sleep.
We figured out how to make or bed feel like a couch by sleeping on it sideways with or back against the headboard. It's better than the couch but still not perfect. It's the only way to get there. Lay on the bed normally, panic sets in. We have tried alcohol but it does little to calm us.
We now manage by taking sleeping tablets and anti anxiety medication every night if we want to sleep. It is the only way. I don't remember how to fall asleep without them. I'm getting concerned. I don't want to become addicted but we have to sleep. I hope all this will settle down once we get past Christmas. Only 5 more nights of torture to go. We used to love sleep, it was our way to escape, now we try to escape from sleep.
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