Feeling Cursed

Feeling cursed today. Feeling that we will always have to fight for the things others take for granted. Do you know that our parents never used to say 'i love you' . It wasn't until one year we decided we would say it to them first that they started. But we had to make them. We don't even see them now. Nor our sister. She never said it either. There are some people in our lives like our sons that will say it if we say it first. But again we initiate it. It never comes freely without expectation. Are we to hard to love. Were 'they' right, that we don't deserve love? DID is a blessing and a curse. It kept us alive thru hell but now we don't know how to live. We feel empty and alone. Cursed to wander this earth never feeling safe or loved or truly wanted and never understanding what we did wrong to get here. I don't see a solution. Just a cursed life.