Rights

One of the biggest casualties of abuse is the loss of rights. When a child is abused they lose their right to be able to say no. They are forced to submit to things he/she does not like or want. This has a profound affect. When abused children are forced to submit to things against their will, they begin to believe they have no right to have a will and what they want is not important. They lose the ability to believe they are worth defending and that they must submit to things others put upon them. As time goes on this becomes ingrained. It becomes a deep seated belief that they are worthless individuals who do not have rights of their own. They must submit to those around them. As you can imagine this is very dangerous, especially as it caries on to adulthood. Not only can they be very easily taken advantage of, but they do not even realize they have the right to a better life. It is a major learning process to accept that they are equal to those around them and have to right to be heard. It is a big thing to learn that NO is an acceptable word and they have as much right to say it as any one else, even if they know it will upset the other person. This has been one of the biggest things for me to learn. I matter, I count, and that I have the right to say no to anything I do not feel comfortable with. My life is mine, it does not belong to some one else and I can say NO. It can be a long hard lesson that can take years to learn and even longer to be able to get the courage to follow through on.  Believing you are a non existent person with no rights and you exist only to be used by others and to serve others is not a life. I am learning to stand up for my self, to believe I matter and that what I want is important, and slowly I am learning to stand up for what I want and need, and that I count. It takes time and patience, but we are worth the time and we are important. We are people, equal to others around us. Deep inside there is a small weak voice saying,"I am here and I matter".