Mind Control

It's 4.30am and I have been awake for several hours reading Alison Miller's book Becoming Yourself, Overcoming Mind Control and Ritual Abuse. It is a great book and after only 2 chapters I have learnt a lot. It can be overwhelming but I need to know the truth. As she says in the book. ... 'It is worth the fight. Even a day of freedom is better than a lifetime of slavery. ' To my fellow survivors. .... Keep up the fight, we are doing this together.

Learning Love

DID is about survival. It is about having the skills to get through the horror you are living. You learn to adjust, adapt, you develop amazing survival skils. You may however not learn so many things that others take for granted. Things like how to recieve love, how to give love, what real love looks like. How to show love. Things most people do without thinking can take time and effort for a multiple to learn. The greatest of these to learn is deserving love. It is never an easy thing but ultimately worth the work, but it will take time and patience.

Every Day

Every day is so hard. I fight every day to stay alive. I want so much for this all to end, life shouldn't be this hard. We are fighting all the time, there are so many of us and we can never meet everyone's needs let alone wants. It's so complicate. There are no simple answers just many many inside and more trauma than I can recall in one sitting. I don't see it any easier with any of my other friends who have DID. They are all struggling. Every day is a fight. Where is the hope. How can it get better when there are so many of us with stories to tell. It seems never ending and I just don't know where to go from here.