Back and safe

Back from holidays. It was a good trip, lots and lots of walking and not much sleep. It was an interesting opportunity to work through some of the issues some of our alters have. One in particular is our fear of new places and people. Early on in the trip an alter was very fearful of it not being safe and that we would see the people who hurt us. We asked if anything bad had ever happened to us in this city (as we had not recollection of ever being there we thought we were pretty safe) and we decided that we would consider this more of an adventure than something to be afraid of. Now we are bigger we can defend ourselves much better than we did as a child and we are not going to this place with dangerous people.This eased her fears immensely and we found it much much easier to enjoy the trip, and being surrounded with crowds of strangers all the time.
We had to share a small hotel room with Diamonds, something we were a little nervous about. In the end it all worked out well. We made sure we asked permission, or went into the bathroom, before getting changed. Although we have seen each other naked, it is not acceptable to go barging in on each other without notice, in case a little was out or they just needed a private moment. We had discussed in quite a bit of detail, before we left, things that might trigger us and ways we may need alone time in a shared room. There was a lot of switching in both our systems so it made for a very interesting time and kept us on our toes making sure we were talking to the right person at the right time.
It was not without its trauma. As the plane was landing in the new city, someone inside brought up some flashbacks from trauma we didn't know had happened. It wasn't really the most convenient time and we did our best to deal with it as we could. Unfortunately we we landing in a new city and trying to navigate the airport. In the end we had to say we would get back to it soon so that we could focus on the outside world. This is always a tricky thing to do as this alter feels safe bringing up their memory now, and I don't like to put them off till later, but we felt there was not many options at this time. We still haven't managed to sort it out but hopefully we will get to it soon.
Now we are home and back into routine life goes on. We are hoping to spend more time walking to places now that we used to. We really enjoyed all the walking. We also enjoyed not having the same thing for breakfast every day. So we are hoping we can keep that up for a while too. See how we go.

Update

Things have settled down a little in our system over the last few days which is a nice change. We are still getting flashbacks but not as many. We are slowly coming to terms with the fact that there are a lot more of us in here than first thought, which is somewhat daunting.
This week we are heading off interstate for a short holiday with Diamonds. Overall it is very exciting, but different alters of course have different feelings about the trip. We have one who is very scared of flying and has already hit the panic button. (we are going to take a mild natural sedative to help her get through the flight) Most of us don't cope very well with such a big change and can feel unsettled for days. Especially as we have never been to this place before so have no idea what to expect or any memories to work with. Diamonds is well travelled and used to live there, so we are going to stick very close to her.
When we are in a crowd setting, we find we need to see the faces of everyone around us. I think this is to see if we know them and if they are safe. This can also be very exhausting to be on such high alert all the time. We have had to prepare Diamonds that we may need time alone, (even if it is in a public toilet cubicle), for 10 or so minutes, so that we can calm and recenter our selves if it all becomes too overwhelming.
This will be our first time away with Diamonds, and the longest non stop we have spent in each others presence. This too may prove to be a challenge. Lots of communication will be needed to get through it without us falling apart. Diamonds and us are used to the need to communicate well as the success of our relationship depends on constant checking in with each other. It is hard work but worth it and we are pretty much used to it now. Im off to get some work done, will hopefully have some pictures to share from the trip when we get back.

Stop child abuse.

People are fascinated with DID. It amazes many people to see the ability of the mind to separate into so many pieces. What most people forget is that it is cased by some thing. We use the word trauma and abuse. Not all DID is caused by abuse, some is caused by trauma. Most of what I have seen is by abuse though.
I just want to ask at this time that when you think of some one with DID and find yourself fascinated by their disorder, that you take a minute to consider what got them there. All those things you do not want to think or speak of to others. All those horrors of mankind. Please take time to acknowledge that they are real and that this person has seen many of them. Please take a minute to think of all the things we don't want to know about DID. Maybe with time if we can face the truth about the causes of DID we will be able to prevent it from being any child's reality. Stop Child abuse. A child's life is precious and you are killing them. We can all make a difference.