A Long time, a lot to learn.

I know it's been the longest time since we have been on here.  There have been so many things happening,  both inside and outside. None of us have really felt like sharing.  We have changed therapists , and learnt so much more about how to cope in this new world we are living in.  Learning to live free from a lifetime of control is not as easy as it seems. There are so many things about normal human behaviour that we were never taught.  Love being one of those things.  We are blessed to have a wonderful person in our life to patiently lead us along this path.  But it is truly hard work, not only in practice but also to understand the concept of true unconditional love.
Trust is another tough one, man that's hard. Just when you think you've got it, it slips away. 
We are finally moving into a word that offers us more hope of a future than the past ever did. But we are also learning a lot about how we became who we are.  That journey is heartbreaking. The truth has been hidden under survival skills for so long, it is hard to recognise it when we see it, and even harder to accept. Realising that those who should love and protect you most are the ones who did the damage takes time and tears and heartache to process. 
To my parents if you are reading  this, please know that your insistence that you 'didn't do anything,' is a serious admission of guilt. It is your supposed, 'not doing anything', that let us get to the level of DID that is so severe only a few specialist around the world will even consider taking it on to treat.  You neglected our safety and failed to protect us from severe ongoing abuse. That is your job as parents.  Where were you when we needed you most?  You are not innocent, wether you admit to it or not, and unfortunately you had way to many accomplices . I don't know what you have gained from this sadistic behaviour,  but it has cost us a lot. Not that you would care.  But at least we do now.