Just Lie Here And Dream

Just lie here and dream.  Dream of a world with heroes and saviors. Where everything works out in the end, and the damsel is rescued. They ride off into the sunset to begin again, and the villan is vanquished.  A world where there is honor and hope,  Goodness and kindness.  Where evil people are easy to see,  and can be fought. Where the wounds seems to disappear and all is right with the world.  Dream today if this world,  in the desperate hope that you will forget the truth, and rest in the lie for another day. 
This is not my world and never has been.  There are no heroes or saviors. The damsel must stand on her own.  The evil is hidden and spread so widely it out measures those who do good.  There is no safe place to rest.  No haven or refuge. No peace, then no hope.  
I hear stories of those who have made it to a place they call home.  But who knows if it's real.  I have no map or directions to lead me.  
But once again for tonight, i dream of a world made in movies,  and my hero who comes to my aid. I escape just for now from the truth.  Just for now i will feel safe.  

A Lonely Life

My therapist had been sick.  I haven't seen him for two weeks.  I usually see him twice a week.  We miss the chance the talk to someone who knows and understands.  Someone who we won't scare.  Someone we are not afraid to lose with our truth.  So much has happened over the last couple of weeks that we want to talk about.  We now have no other friends who are multiple,  only others in online groups. We miss having someone who understands and who will listen.  It's a lonely life. 
Something is going on inside.  Most days i feel sick and sore and upset to the point of not being able to function.  I know it's coming from inside,  but they won't tell me what it is.  The past is here again.  I wish we could just leave it all behind.