Imaginary Friend.

It's been so hard lately, we really haven't known what to post. Easter was very hard with so many triggers and flashbacks. We are just getting over that and there are more things to deal with. We have met 5 insiders in the last 24 hours. Stuff is popping up all over the place. As a child of about 4 or 5 years old we used to have an imaginary friend. He used to be with us and get up to all sorts of trouble. We even used to get our parents to buy him a meal when we went out to lunch. Our mother used to tell the story of how we got her to go out into the middle of the street, and tell off or imaginary friend for being on the road. I am not quite sure when we stopped having him around but tonight for the first time in decades we heard his name again. Maybe he wasn't an imaginary friend after all, maybe he was one of us. Maybe he has been inside with us the whole time. I'm not sure but I am very curious to know more about him. Somedays this is an amazing journey through history, learning so much about what has happened. Then there are the days that are just hard work.

Alone

I have no father, I have no mother, i have no sister or brother. At the end of the day, when I am tired and alone, there is no one to hold me and say it will be ok. I am alone. No one to hold me. Each day one step in front of the other. When does it end and we can feel safe and free?

Easter overload

Easter has been so hard. so many triggers and programs. We have had so much trouble functioning in the real world. The house hasn't been cleaned, we just cannot seem to get our head around cooking food for the kids, and as for study, well that just hasn't happened. Its now Tuesday after Easter, and while things have improved dramatically from what they were say Good Friday, we are still not back to the functioning people we usually are. Tired of this.