So Tired

This is where I'm at, at the moment. So much trauma has come forward, so many memories of horrific things. Some days it's hard to function carrying that heavy heavy load. 

Independence

When the anger and frustration hit

What do you do? Life goes on.  We're learning to live, learning to make a life for ourselves.  We have come a long way.  We work much better together as a group. We feel there's a better balance in our life.  We are grateful for what we have achieved together over the years.   But still something isn't right.  Because we are many,  life is far more complicated than it is for others. Our health is suffering. Our body is becoming more and more disabled. Yes we have a wheelchair now,  dont need it all the time,  but we still need it. Regular drs appointments,  specialists, hospital visits,  pain management clinics,  tests, and medications.   Our body and mind went through so much back then, that they are now struggling with the after affects of all that.  It's hard living with this legacy.  What's harder is knowing that the people who made us broken in the first place have no remorse,  no acknowledgement of any wrong doing.  They even blame us for how we have made their life harder. There comes a time when that becomes too much. The anger builds and we want to see some justice,  some repentance, some vengeance even.  Yet we seem to have no outlet, no way to show how we feel,  no way to show them what they have done and continue to do with their actions.  Thoughts have entered our minds of action we could take,  but they seem to dangerous and not without serious repercussions for us. 

What do we do. How do we get to a place where we feel we have been acknowledged.  Karma seems to take too long,  if it happens at all.  Revenge seems hard to safely do and quantify. How do we find our sense of peace for this.  No action only makes us feel powerless!