Welcome to my Blog.

These are my ramblings in an attempt try and understand my Dissociative Identity Disorder. Thank you for reading my blog and I hope that together we can come to a better understanding of the human mind. If you have any questions or comments you are more than welcome to add them to my blog, or to email me. I would love to hear from you.

06 December, 2016

Diamonds and Hard Work

Some days are diamonds, some days are just hard work. Today has been both.
Today we had the wonderful opportunity to meet another multiple. It was a chance to spend time with someone who know s how it feels to be multiple. We were nervous at first but they are lovely and we got on like a house on fire. We have agreed to meet regularly to chat and share with each other what life is like living with many. Their system is very different to ours in how it all works, but I'm hoping that we have enough in common that we can still remain friends.
Leaving the meeting we were on a high. We wanted to head to the shops to get some stuff for christmas. While there we ran into our ex girlfriend and fellow multiple. Her system had changed so much she didn't remember us, yet she knew she knew us somehow. We talked for a bit until it got too much for us and we had to leave. Even standing in the shop we were crying, it was only the beginning of the tears that flowed today. So many feelings came back, it was heartbreaking to see her again. The love we felt for her has never really left, just moved to a different place inside. It was very hard to walk away but at the same time, it was the only choice we had. The relationship had not ended well. The rest of our day has been spent with tears and resting.
Seeing her reminded us of how vulnerable we still are and how easy it is for someone to find us if they want to. We were reminded of the times we had with her and the things that went wrong. It's been one of those days when we have wondered if this life is just too hard, but we've made it through another day and we are hoping things will be better tomorrow.
We are still learning the wonders of having fun and just getting out and doing crazy things, like a sunset swim at our local nudist beach with a friend. A great time and a reminder there is still beauty in the world. For us it does take an effort to find it, but we are trying.....and I guess that's the best we can do.

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