Welcome to my Blog.

These are my ramblings in an attempt try and understand my Dissociative Identity Disorder. Thank you for reading my blog and I hope that together we can come to a better understanding of the human mind. If you have any questions or comments you are more than welcome to add them to my blog, or to email me. I would love to hear from you.

05 July, 2011

Catch up

Hi everyone,
I know it has been quite a while since I last posted on here. There has been so much going on I really have hot had much time or desire to talk about it all.
I was thinking the other day that i have not introduced you to my system. The system is the term used to describe the group of identities in my head and how they work.
So far I have identified the following identities and their information. Hope you find it interesting.
Inside we have Elizabeth 5yo, Michael 18yo, Olivia 9yo, Vanessa and Veronica twins 7yo, Suzie 22yo, Andrew 8yo, Anthony 2-3yo, Johnathon. There are several more but these are the ones I know best. There are also to the best of my knowledge 2 non human alters.
It is probably seems confusing to you but it makes sense to me. (sort of)
I know Elizabeth the most as she will often talk to me and show me how she is feeling. She is friends with Michael and they are often felt together.  Elizabeth was the first one to introduce herself to me and I feel we have a special bond.
How do i get to know them you may ask? If I allow time to sit quietly and listen I can often hear them talk in my  head, or I may feel something and if I ask who it is they will say their name. I also do journaling  as often as i can and it is not uncommon for one of them to take over and write in the journal or to show me pictures during this time.
I am beginning to see them as friends who often remind me of things I need to do or how to behave. Sometimes they all speak together and that is confusing and not at all helpful. I am not in control and can wake up on any given day with anyone of then running the body for the next few minutes to days.
 I have just finished about 3 days with Michael in control. He is strong and determined and because of that I have been able to get many jobs done that I have been wanting to get done for a while. Unfortunately he is not so keen on telling my husband he loves him or indeed kissing him. This can be awkward.
Today I woke up and Michael was gone and someone else has been in charge. As I have had to go to work today it has been a bit harder. I have felt exhausted all day. ( could partly be because of the storm last night and lack of sleep) (I was reminded to tell u this by whoever  is in charge today, i.e. its not all her fault)
Each day can be quite different as I never quite know who is in control of the body today.
It appears one of my younger members has taken to spending time with my youngest son.
She finds him to be lots of fun and likes to hang out with him when he is here. He is funny and makes her laugh. (she says)
It is very challenging, but I have a sense of Hope I have not had before, and slowly I am beginning to not feel so alone.
Please feel free to share this site with as many people as you think may be interested. Awareness if DID needs to be increased. We are normal people who have survived horrible situations, we are strong, we are survivors and we need acceptance.

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